5 Practical Ways to Help Your Child With Anxiety
Anxiety in kids is more common than many people realize. As an anxious parent, it can be challenging to see your child struggling to handle anxious thoughts and feelings.
However, anxiety doesn’t have to take over their life—or yours! You can help your child develop skills to manage it. Here are five practical strategies to support them.
Teach Coping Skills
Self-calming techniques, like deep breathing and the grounding method, can help re-center your child. To teach these skills, ask them to take slow, deep breaths or focus on finding five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste.
Positive self-talk is another coping skill that takes practice. Help your child reframe their thoughts by replacing negative ones like “I can’t do this” with more positive ones like “I’ll try my best.”
Teaching your child how to confront worries rather than avoid them can be helpful too. This can be done by naming their fear and finding ways to make it feel less scary over time. For example, if they’re afraid of speaking in class, start by talking about it and practicing it at home. Then, challenge them to try it in small groups before moving to even larger ones.
Tolerate Anxiety and Uncertainty
The goal isn’t to get rid of anxiety but to help your kid function as well as they can when it’s present. Anxiety follows a natural curve—it peaks, then gradually lessens. Teach your child this so they can learn to tolerate anxiety by riding out this wave instead of avoiding it, which can actually reinforce their fears.
Help them see anxiety as something they can manage by validating their feelings with empathy, while encouraging them to face their challenges. For example, you could say, “I see that you’re nervous about going to the party, and that’s okay. Let’s talk about what we can do to make it feel easier.”
Encourage them to be open and flexible to change. Life is unpredictable, and tolerating uncertainty is a part of this. The sooner kids learn to adapt, the better equipped they’ll be to manage their fears long-term.
Model Healthy Behavior
Children learn so much by observing their parents, so what you model matters! Pay attention to your body language, tone of voice, and nonverbal communication—as you kid picks up on more than just your words. If you’re visibly stressed or tense, they may sense this and mirror those feelings.
Engage in healthy lifestyle habits that promote emotional wellness, like maintaining a balanced diet, regular exercise, and quality sleep. Take time for yourself to relax too, as practicing self-care shows your child that it’s important!
Ask Questions and Share Praise
Sometimes, when we see someone struggling, we jump to conclusions and offer them solutions right away. However, asking open-ended questions to explore their experience can feel more supportive. For example, you could ask your child, “What about this situation makes you feel uneasy?” This shows them you’re genuinely listening and encourages them to share their thoughts and feelings.
When they make progress, even if it’s small, offer praise, verbal encouragement, or random rewards to reinforce their efforts and boost their confidence! Say things like, “I’m proud of how you handled that situation. You stayed calm and tried your best.”
Encourage Mental Health Days
One of the best ways to support someone who is feeling worried, overwhelmed, or anxious is giving them time to recharge. A mental health day—a break from their regular routine—can provide space to relax and reset. Spend this time engaging in calming activities together, such as taking a walk in nature or doing a creative project.
When you’re facing your own challenges and need a day off, talking through your problem and decision with your child can be helpful to them. Show them that it’s okay to rest sometimes to show up as your best later! “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m taking some time off to relax before doing anything else” shows your problem-solving skills and gives your kid another tool they can use in their own life.