Helping kids make friends in the summer time: Social confidence tips

Summer time can bring about a ton of chances for kids to meet new friends. But for many, those moments also bring nervous feelings and uncertainty about how to join in.

You may worry when you see your child hanging back in groups or saying things like “I don’t know what to say.” And you can help. 

Friendship is a skill. It is learned over time. Kids do not need to be naturally outgoing. They just need practice and support they can actually use. Research shows that kids build social skills best through repeated, low pressure interactions. 

Key takeaways

• Helping kids make summer friends is about practice, not personality
• Small social steps build confidence more than pressure or forcing group play
• Children do better when they learn simple phrases and feel emotionally safe

Summertime connections

Summer changes how kids connect with others.

Instead of seeing the same classmates every day, they may:

• Go to different camps each week
• Meet new groups at parks or pools
• Spend more time with neighbors
• Join activities with mixed ages on vacations

In school, friendships form naturally over time. In summer, kids often have to start over again and again. 

That means they need more support with:

• Joining play
• Starting conversations
• Handling rejection
• Waiting for turns
• Understanding social norms

Social support signs

Some kiddos jump right into play. Others need more time.

Your child may need support if you notice:

• They watch other kids but do not join in
• They say “I don’t know what to do” in groups
• They stay close to adults instead of peers
• They avoid camps or group activities
• They say they have no friends, even when around other kids
• They get upset before social events

These signs do not mean something is wrong. They mean your child may need more practice and confidence building.

How to support friendships during the summer

Start with observation instead of pressure 

Many kids feel pressure to be a part of groups right away. That pressure can shut them down.

Try saying:

• “Let’s watch what they are playing first”
• “You can join when you feel ready”
• “It is okay to take your time”

This lowers stress and helps kids feel in control of their own pace.

Teach simple scripts to practice 

Many kids want to join but do not know what to say.

Share questions they can ask, like:

• “Can I play too?”
• “What are you playing?”
• “That looks fun, can I try?”
• “Do you want to play together?”
• “Can I join your game?”

Keep phrases short so they remember them next time.

Focus on shared play, not conversation 

Kids do not need perfect communication skills to make friends. They really just need shared activities they can bond over.

Encourage these types of activities:

• Tag or running games
• Building toys like blocks or sand
• Drawing or crafts
• Sports or ball games
• Pretend play

When kids are doing something together, connection happens naturally.

Extra support for shy kiddos

Shy kids often want friends but need more time to feel comfortable. Shyness is not a problem. It is a pace.

Support them by:

• Arriving early to new places so they can adjust slowly
• Staying nearby at first, then slowly stepping back
• Giving them observant roles to start, like helping set up the game before playing

Handling peer rejection when it comes up

Summer social situations sometimes include rejection. This can feel big for kids!

They might hear:

• “We are already playing”
• “Not right now”
• “You can’t join”

Help them reframe it:

• “Sometimes groups are full, you can try again later”
• “That does not mean they do not like you”
• “Let’s find another game”

The bottom line

Helping kids make friends in the summer is not about pushing them into groups. It is about giving them simple tools and lots of practice in low pressure ways.

• Social confidence grows when they:
• Start by watching before joining
• Learn how to ask to play
• Practice playing with others
• Feel emotionally safe trying again