5 Ways to Support Your Tween’s or Teen’s Social Confidence This Summer
Share
Summer can be a golden opportunity for kids to stretch their social muscles! But it can also feel like a lonely season for those struggling to connect. Without the built-in structure of school, tweens and teens may find it harder to maintain friendships or make new friends.
As a parent, your role isn’t to fix every awkward or sad moment. Here are five strategies to help your kid build relationships, explore their identity, and feel more at ease this summer.
1. Encourage Low-Pressure Social Opportunities
Not every social interaction needs to be a big event. Many kids thrive when they can connect in smaller, more relaxed ways. Instead of pushing them toward big parties or large group outings, suggest summer activities that feel manageable and fun. These types of interactions can allow them to practice social skills without as much pressure at a gradual pace.
Some low-pressure options include:
- Inviting one friend over for dinner or a movie night
- Joining a short-term summer class or camp
- Attending outdoor community events or markets
If your kid struggles with making friends, ask questions like:
- “Is there anyone you want to hang out with but aren’t sure how to ask?”
- “Would it help to brainstorm ways to reach out to someone you want to hang with?”
2. Build Confidence Through Role-Playing or “What Ifs”
It’s normal for kids to feel unsure of what to say or do in social settings sometimes. One way to ease this anxiety is to practice before they’re in the moment. Try role-playing scenarios or using “what if” conversation starters to work through their worries.
For example, you could ask:
- “What if someone invited you to something you didn’t want to do?”
- “What’s a good way to start a conversation with someone?”
These low-stakes chats can help your child find their voice and practice how they want to show up. It’s not about scripting their life, it’s about building their confidence through preparation!
3. Let Them Take the Lead on Plans
One of the most empowering things you can do for your kid is to give them the wheel. Encourage them to initiate plans with friends or suggest summer activities that interest them. Even if the plan fizzles or no one shows up, the act of trying is what matters.
By taking the lead, they learn important life skills like how to plan with others, how to handle rejection, and how to follow through. This parenting approach builds resilience, not just comfort.
Offer transportation if needed, help troubleshoot logistics if they ask, and celebrate their planning efforts. Think of yourself as backup support!
Saying something like, “I’m proud of you for texting them,” reinforces them reaching out no matter the plan.
4. Support Their Identity and Interests
Social confidence isn’t just about how kids interact, it’s also about how they see themselves. When they feel secure in who they are, they’re more likely to take risks and connect with others who share their interests.
Support their identity by:
- Encouraging hobbies or creative projects they care about
- Respecting their individuality, even if their style isn’t your favorite
- Offering resources or programs that reflect their interests
Whether your kid is into coding, acting, or skateboarding, supporting what they like and who they are helps them feel seen and find their people.
You might say: “It’s awesome that you’re into that! Do you want to find a group or class on it this summer?”
5. Validate Their Feelings Without Fixing Them
Tweens and teens often experience social ups and downs in intense ways. They may come home from a group event feeling like no one liked them that they said the wrong thing. In times like these, the most powerful thing you can do is listen.
Instead of jumping in with advice or solutions, try saying:
- “That sounds really tough. Do you want to talk about it?”
- “I hear you. I’ve felt that way before too.”
- “It makes sense that you’re feeling anxious about that.”
This kind of validation helps them process emotions without feeling judged or pushed. It’s also a reminder that it isn’t about always being liked or never feeling awkward. It’s about knowing they can survive their feelings and still be okay.
Building confidence takes time, and summer is a great chance to practice this skill. Whether your child is taking big or small social leaps, your support and belief in them will make a lasting impact. Because the real goal isn’t perfect social success; it’s helping them feel like they belong in their own skin around others!
