5 tips for surviving parenting a two year old

5 tips for surviving parenting a two year old

If you’re parenting a two year old and wondering how someone so small can have such big emotions, you’re not doing anything wrong and you are definitely not alone. This stage can feel intense, unpredictable, and exhausting, even on the “good” days. 

Around age two, a toddlers’ brain is growing fast, especially in areas connected to emotions. The parts that help with self control and patience? Those are still very much under construction. That’s a big reason why this season can feel so hard. 

Here are five realistic, doable tips to help you get through the days and maybe feel a little steadier along the way. 

🔑  Key takeaways for parents

  • Two year olds are not being difficult on purpose, their brains are still learning how to manage feelings and impulses.
  • Meltdowns are a sign of overwhelm, not bad behavior.
  • Small changes in how you respond can make a big difference for both you and your child.

What’s really happening developmentally at age two

Before diving into tips, it helps to understand what’s happening beneath the surface. 

Why the emotions feel so big

At this age, the emotional part of the brain is developing much faster than the part responsible for self control. That means you toddler feels everything deeply but doesn’t yet have the skills to pause, explain or calm themselves down. 

In short: big feelings, very small coping skills. 

Knowing this won't magically make the day easier, but it can help you take things a little less personally. 

Tip 1: Regulate yourself first

When your two year old melts down, your body reacts too. That's normal. The quickest way to help your child settle isn't through reasoning, it's through modeling of your own calm presence. 

Try this at home:
Before responding, take one slow breath. Lower your voice. Relax your shoulders. Your child’s nervous system will often mirror yours.

This is called co-regulation, and at this age, it matters more than anything you say.

Tip 2: Use fewer words during meltdowns

When emotions are high, toddlers can’t process explanations or lessons.Too many words can actually make things harder.

Try this at home:
Use short, simple phrases:

  • “You’re upset.”
  • “I’m here.”
  • “That was hard.”

Save teaching and problem-solving for later, once everyone is calmer.

Remember: When feelings are big, keep words small.

Tip 3: Give choices, but keep them simple

Two year olds want independence, but too many choices can feel overwhelming.

Try this at home:
Offer two simple options:

  • “Red cup or blue cup?”
  • “Do you want to walk or be carried?”

This gives your child a sense of control without overwhelming them.

Tip 4: Expect the meltdown, not perfection

Meltdowns are a normal part of toddlerhood. They don’t mean you’re failing as a parent.

Common triggers at this age include:

  • Hunger or being overtired
  • Transitions
  • Trouble communication
  • Wanting independence without the skills to manage it

Try this at home:
Instead of asking, “How do I stop this?”, try asking, “What does my child need right now?”

Often the answer is rest, connection, or a little more time.

Tip 5: Repair matters more than getting it right

You will lose your patience sometimes. Every parent does. What matters most is what happens next.

Try this at home:
When things calm down, keep it simple:

  • “I got frustrated earlier. I’m sorry.”
  • “We’re both learning.”

Repair builds trust and shows your child that relationships can handle hard moments.

Simple phrases that help two year olds feel understood

Two year olds don’t need deep conversations, but simple emotional language goes a long way.

Try phrases like:

  • “That made you mad.”
  • “You didn’t like that.”
  • “Your body feels busy.”

Naming feelings helps toddlers start to recognize emotions, even before they can manage them.

Taking care of you matters

Surviving life with a two-year-old also means supporting yourself. This stage can be draining, and it's okay to say that out loud. 

Try this at home:
Lower the bar where you can. Rest when possible. Ask for help. Parenting a toddler is not meant to be done perfectly or alone.

Support, routines, and guidance can make a real difference on the days that feel the longest. 

The bottom line

Parenting a two year old is hard because it’s supposed to be. This stage is about growth, testing limits, and learning emotional skills from the ground up.

You don’t need to fix every meltdown or get every response right. Showing up with calm, connection, and compassion is enough.

And on the days when it feels like too much, remember, you’re learning alongside your child.

Parenting support, whenever you need it.

Try HeyKiddo, free today.